Jealous. Insecure. Paranoid.
These are the three words you use to describe me.
Even more so, you tell me my confidence is gone and there is no reason for it.
I would describe myself as jealous, insecure and paranoid as well. However backed by reason.
I feel so drained. Things that once caused me to outburst cause me to go silent.
Promises have turned into lies you no longer bother to hide.
It's like we are just functioning.
You tell me if you wanted someone else you would have left me.
I tell me if you wanted someone else you would have left me.
If I tell you to stop talking to her you tell me to stop being controlling and trust you.
So now when it bothers me I tell myself to stop being controlling and trust you, like a girlfriend should.
But while you continue to do the things that bring you happiness, I continue to be silent about the things that take away mine.
I love you.
I no longer love me.
You say talk to me.
My chest tightens.
Words have gotten me nowhere
You know what I'm going to say.
And I know how you will react.
We fight. You say you want to fix us.
Fix.
But the issues I have are not with you rather your choices.
You say the issues are with how I perceive things.
So neither of us will move.
But I want to, just not in the same direction I once imagined I would.