The Crossroad.

Jealous. Insecure. Paranoid.


These are the three words you use to describe me.


Even more so, you tell me my confidence is gone and there is no reason for it.


I would describe myself as jealous, insecure and paranoid as well. However backed by reason.


I feel so drained. Things that once caused me to outburst cause me to go silent.


Promises have turned into lies you no longer bother to hide.


It's like we are just functioning.


You tell me if you wanted someone else you would have left me.


I tell me if you wanted someone else you would have left me.


If I tell you to stop talking to her you tell me to stop being controlling and trust you.


So now when it bothers me I tell myself to stop being controlling and trust you, like a girlfriend should.


But while you continue to do the things that bring you happiness, I continue to be silent about the things that take away mine.


I love you.


I no longer love me.


You say talk to me.


My chest tightens.

Words have gotten me nowhere

You know what I'm going to say.

And I know how you will react.


We fight. You say you want to fix us.


Fix.


But the issues I have are not with you rather your choices.


You say the issues are with how I perceive things.


So neither of us will move.


But I want to, just not in the same direction I once imagined I would.



26 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

I remember drunken nights, lying on that cold wood varnished floor, tracing the creases of the patterned planked platform. The nights cool air billowing through my window with the gentle hum of the do

As a child I found myself outside often, I loved the area I grew up in. I lived next to a marsh and a bird sanctuary. The songs they sang, the hoots you heard and the soft cooing from the trees eased

When I first returned to my faith It was a slow crawl, I walked so timidly back to the safe place that I run from before. Shame had withered me and I feared being looked at as the damaged mess I saw m