Yesterday I lost my temper. Not in the way of yelling or screaming, but the release of pent up frustrations. I had been over my boyfriend's every day after work cleaning and he wasn't even keeping up with it. So I vented, he told me that the apartment looked amazing. But I just wanted it to stay that way. So I dug into his bad habits and listed them.
There lies my regret. I never like to hold up the mirror to someone else's flaws when I, myself, have plenty too. My boyfriend has never done it back to me, even in a moment like the one I just described where he could start a war and point out my own faults. Instead he sits there and let's me vent it out, upset that I'm that upset. When I'm done I'm aware I've hurt him with a harsh plate of my displeasure. But he always grabs me and hugs me. In that embrace I always apologize, and as I do so he clutches on to me harder.
The truth is I don't care at the end of the day. He could stay as messy as he wants and I would still choose him. I accept that patience is a virtue and he is patient with me and my emotions. He gives me his time and his affection. He takes care of me emotionally in a way I've never been loved like before. And so I don't care If I'm always tidying up after him. He's strong for me in other ways.
There is a balance in relationships. Sometimes two people bring different things to the table but all meshes together in perfect harmony. I once hear a relationship isn't always 50/50 sometimes it's 80/20, 70/30, 40/60. It's about making up the other half when the person can't for whatever reason. It's about being the best together even when the other can't be their best alone. Yes roles will fluctuate, but at the end of the love won't.
I hope he knows that at the end of the day I still feel like the luckiest girl in world.