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The Fix

Fixing us was more difficult than I ever imagined. I had been in relationships where we couldn't see eye to eye before. Relationships where my partner stopped trying and I had no choice but to leave. In the past I had always wanted to fight for the relationship, and while this situation was no different in that respect, it was in the fact that this time he stopped, listened to me and decided to fight for us too.

Everything should be ok now right? No. The amazing thing about being in a healthy relationship and deciding to work things out when one person has done something wrong is that you both need to learn how to move forward from it. I for instance I had to get over things that were done and trust again, while he had to open up and tell me everything to build that trust.

I wanted the truth but I most definitely wasn't prepared for it. We would sit on the couch and I would tell him I think he was hiding even more than he was telling me. He would be quiet and I would slowly convince him that the only way to heal would be for there to be no lies.

He began to tell me the truth.

...Then I freaked the hell out on him.

I was hurt all over again, he was too. I told him it would be ok and then I acted in the opposite fashion. So as he walks away disappointed and sad, probably beating himself more, I feel something change. I'm healing, not becuse of some strange miracle, and not becuse I got over all of what he just told me. I'm healing becuse he just told me the truth and therefore knocked down a wall that was keeping us divided.

Right now we are still fixing us. We cry, we laugh, we hug, we yell, we get frustrated and sad, mad and fed up. And then we forgive, heal, trust. The love, however, that was there keeping us linked when nothing else was and this will make that bond even stronger.

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