To Grow and Heal
How do we fix this?
A question I have asked myself many times before. I have wanted to give up. To throw in the towel and move on. But now is that really what I have wanted? No, not when I really think of it. I have fought to stay, because I know your worth, and I know your heart.
But we have a lot of work to do.
I know I am not perfect, and I have had to turn to God multiple times and pray for answers that were more of hard truths I wasn't really ready or willing to accept. I once praised letting God into your daily life as a slow and steady construction on an overgrown and abandoned garden. Imagine opening the gate and seeing all of these weeds and vines sucking the potential out of what could be so good. But the work... where would you even start?
I want my Garden back. That statement alone is enough to start. And like so, I want my relationship back.
Here's the thing though, I have been plucking weeds in our relationship, and as quick as I snag one another appears, and I get mad. Why am I doing this alone? Why aren't you helping? You don't care about me! You are exhausting all of my energy and I am trying to fix things!
Wow ok. You are shocked now because that one weed that you accidentally planted has set off a frenzy of accusations. But let's slow this down, think about it for a second. Are you putting in the daily effort to help clean up the garden you two built?
This is your hard truth to accept. I understand that my outbursts of discontent most likely have added to whatever prevents you from taking action on cleaning up our mess. however, that just leads to a chain reaction.
So I am asking you now instead to not focus on us. To let me clean the garden and just focus on you. I'm asking you, as a Man who follows God, to look to him for those hard truths, so we can stop planting weeds and start building a future.
I want you to grow.
I want us to heal.